Trace Embry Interviewed by Bob Crittenden of Faith Radio at NRB

Trace Embry at the National Religious Broadcasters Convention

Listen to Trace Embry interviewed in Nashville, TN at the National Religious Broadcasters Convention by Bob Crittenden of Faith Radio.  Bob speaks of Faith & Culture at The Meeting House.

License To Parent is an outreach ministry of Shepherd’s Hill Farm. It’s a live 50,000 watt call-in radio broadcast that seeks to give biblical guidance to parents of dysfunctional families.  Questions or comments by phone or email are welcome.

License To Parent broadcasts from AM 660 in Greenville, SC. and can be heard in the Greenville-Spartanburg-Anderson area of South Carolina as well as Charleston, South Carolina.  It can also be heard in Charlotte, North Carolina; Knoxville, Tennessee; and the northern suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia.   Shepherd’s Hill Farm is located in Martin, Georgia and serves teens and families worldwide.

License To Parent airs Thursdays at 12:30 PM and again on Saturday mornings at 11:00 AM EST. Shepherd’s Hill Farm enrolls kids year round.

Because of the transformation and healing of so many teens and families that are ministered to at Shepherd’s Hill Farm, it seemed prudent to take what is evidently working inside the gate of Shepherd’s Hill Farm and get it outside the gate.  This way, families that can’t afford to send their children to Shepherd’s Hill Farm can now at least glean ideas, principles, and biblically congruent concepts that they can tweak and appy to their own situations at home.

Parents can call (1-888-660-9535) in their questions on the live broadcast or email (trace@license2parent.org) their questions.  Some of these questions could be read and answered on future broadcasts.

Cutting and Troubled Teens

A troubled teen who cuts on herself is one of the best evidences for the truth of God and His Word.  I will explain this later in the article.  Recently, a girl arrived at SHF whose arms looked like two U.S. road maps.  Her scars will most likely be forever.  One of the cuts nearly clipped an artery.  The day she arrived at SHF, my wife, Beth, was called to the shower house where it took her and two other staff members to restrain this ninety pound ball of super-human strength.  As Beth tried to keep the girl from slamming her own head against the concrete floor, the girl kept trying to bite her as her head flailed to and fro with jaws snapping like a shark toward Beth’s fingers and hands.  It was a vicious scene as the other two staff members tried to control her torso.  No psycho-therapy was administered to this troubled teen.  As she was restrained, bible stories were softly spoken to her—along with prayer.  After she calmed down, the girl was embraced with love and positive affirmations.  After this, appropriate consequences were also given—despite the fact that it would have been easy to forgo them, since her actions were already self-destructive in nature.  Many secular professionals may have considered her ordeal “punishment” enough.  Compassion, defined by the devil, accomplishes his ends.

It’s been nearly three weeks since the incident in the shower house with our troubled teen girl.  We have loved this girl; but, the love has been as God defines love—not as Hollywood defines it.  We haven’t mollycoddled her as so many kids are today.  We’ve required much from her in the way of behavior and doing her part—something I don’t think had been required of her up to this point.  Many “professionals” look at a girl who has self-mutilated, like this girl, and want to cower to her every desire out of compassion for her situation–exactly what the spiritual part of her doesn’t want!  One man said, “We can have so much compassion upon man as to be in high-handed rebellion towards God.”  We have certainly exercised Godly love toward this girl, hugged her, and affirmed our love for her in every way possible, while taking care of her every need.  Some of her desires, however, haven’t been accommodated; because, they would be detrimental to her healing—liking calling an old “friend” from back home.  And we haven’t relieved her of the consequences of her actions either—despite her self-harm. 

What many people don’t understand is that even though there is terrible turmoil going on inside individuals like this, it doesn’t excuse the fact that consequences still need to take place after an offense has taken place—regardless of the fact that the individual has a history of self injury.  This will actually contribute to the individuals healing, since they are seeking justice in the first place.  What people need to understand is that the reason these people harm themselves is because of a warped sense of justice.  Nobody else is exercising any discipline on their behalf; consequently, they resort to a warped form of their own—all on the unconscious or spiritual level.  All they know is that it relieves their emotional pain.  This is why a fugitive turns himself in after ten years running from the law.

There definitely needs to be a consequence for a sinful offense—perhaps even painful–whatever appropriate means that may be.  However, there is a difference between hurt and harm.  Harm leaves ugly scars and damage; while, appropriate “hurt” in the form of discipline brings healing and health.  The “hurt” isn’t necessarily a physical hurt or pain, but it can be.  Proverbs 27: 6 says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted….”   Psalm 141: 5 says, “Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil only my head.”  Oil was known as a healing agent.  The surgeon that cuts you isn’t harming you, but helping you.  But, because so many kids, today, are exposed to and engaged in activities that deserve consequences without any consequences, their inner need for justice takes over and it manifests in a warped sense of self flagellation that could be averted if someone in legitimate authority would exercise their responsibilities before God.  Unfortunately, almost nobody will—not the state; not the schools; not the parents; not even the church.  Political correctness, legal liability, and, in some cases, the law will not allow it.  I would like to ask all those institutions how it’s been working out for them? 

The cutting phenomenon is only about a dozen years old—about the same time political correctness and the internet came into play.  Now a kid can observe and engage in all the rebellion and perversions of the world with none of the appropriate consequences.  Consequently, to feel halfway normal, kids inflict inappropriate consequences on themselves.  There is an argument that tattooing is just a lesser form of the same thing.  I couldn’t argue it either way.  But, what I find interesting is that, once again, doing things God’s way has brought a smile and laughter to the face of another child who so desperately needed to experience the love of God as God defines love.  Like so many other troubled teens have done in the past here at SHF, this girl recently thanked a staff member for holding her accountable and for our “don’t give in and don’t give up” approach to nurturing her.

 Any good athlete is made better with a good coach who understands the concept of “no pain no gain”.  What makes the coach good and effective is that he doesn’t care how the athlete feels about him during the tough exercises the athlete is made to endure.  He is looking ahead to the prize for which both he and the athlete can rejoice in the future.  A good parent does the same.  Just read Hebrews 12.

Someone may think that a troubled teen who exercises self harm is exercising all the justice and consequences needed.  This is a demonic justice.  Kids are starving for boundaries and someone older, wiser, bigger, stronger, and more determined to do right than they are to do wrong to enforce these boundaries.  This is where their sense of security comes from.  It is also why gangs are so popular.  They give boundaries and enforce them!  But, like self mutilation, it’s warped and evil.  Appropriate consequences given by an authority figure the child trusts and respects is the remedy for delinquent behavior.  It is how God has ordained things. 

Atonement is a God ordained remedy for sin.  What these kids are attempting to do by cutting themselves is a demonic counterfeit of the Atonement.  Once kids understand that Christ has fulfilled this for them on the cross, the light bulb comes on and the healing begins.  God dictates the guidelines of atonement—not man.  What these kids are attempting to do is deeply spiritual.  It’s just not Holy Spiritual.  They are attempting to atone for their own sin—atonement sponsored by the lie of the devil.  Cutting themselves brings them a semblance of relief from the mental, emotional, and spiritual torture that their exposure and indulgence in sinful activity has provided for them—a catharsis that, like any sinful behavior, feels good only for a short while.  Modern psychology doesn’t understand this, because it is spiritual in nature and outside the bounds of their professional discipline. 

Just a few short days later this girl’s countenance is transformed.  She is glowing and is now high stepping and taking in a totally new way of looking at life and reality. This girl is reviving!  Unfortunately, there will always be those who will choose to wallow in their suffering and pain, because they can never come to grips with the fact that Jesus Christ is who He claims to be; did what His Word claims He did; and, will do what His Word said He will do.  To do so would mean to them the surrendering of their own will to the God who created them.  It would mean bringing to light the darkness they have been so in love with—the darkness they have enjoyed because their deeds were evil.  Those who have not allowed Christ to atone for their sins will still glorify Him despite their rebellion.  Unfortunately, they will have to go to hell for it. 

Date:  March 11, 2010

Time:  6:30 pm

Where:  SHF Chapel, 2200 Price Road, Martin, GA 30557

Brief synopsis:  3/11/05 Atlanta, GA.  5 years ago, Ashley Smith Robinson was held hostage and shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ with her perpetrator. The perpetrator later turned himself into the authorities.  You can view Ashley’s website at:  http://ashleysmithrobinson.com/

Trace Embry & Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family at the Sunday Morning Prayer Breakfast at the National Religious Broadcasters Expo in Nashville, TN

License To Parent is an Outreach Ministry of Shepherd’s Hill Farm (SHF). Trace Embry, Founder and Director of SHF gives parenting advice on the License To Parent radio program.  In this photo, Trace is in Nashville, TN at the National Religious Broadcasters Exposition. He met with many radio program hosts from across the Country.  Trace attended a Sunday morning Prayer Breakfast with the Honorable Dr. James Dobson, Founder of Focus on the Family.  This event was to “kick-off” the Expo!    More to come on the event…

The grant funds are being used to build a greenhouse, and to purchase the necessary supplies.  On Friday, the girls were excited and busily preparing the ground to accommodate the new 16×16 greenhouse.  As Beth Embry was counseling the girls with the instructions to build the greenhouse, there were many teachable moments that helped improve creative thinking skills.  The girls also learned dedication, perseverance, and patience as they worked each step in obedience to the instructions. 

The girls are positioning the greenhouse next to the garden plot.  Last summer the girls planted, weeded, watered, and ate the fruits of their labor from the garden.  This year, they will learn to start their own plants from seeds, and they will have the greenhouse to help give them a jump start in the growing season!  Certainly, they will learn a thing or two on how to operate a greenhouse as well. 

Ceasar the Llama comes to Shepherd's Hill Farm

Girls learn to grow their own food in the garden.

With loving guidance and support from Assistant Founder and Director, Beth Embry, of Shepherd’s Hill Farm, the resident girls now have a Homestead Project to call their own.  The girls have elected officers to the project.  This not only gives them a sense of ownership, but teaches them responsibilities of how to operate the program and collaborate as a team.

Since late last summer, the resident girls have gotten to go on numerous field trips to gather ideas from other local area farms already partaking in homesteading.  On one of the trips the girls learned what it was like to be self sustaining.  They learned the methods of bee-keeping, gardening, and raising animals for food.  Here they got to pick fresh organically grown blueberries and raspberries.  They learned how to milk a goat and got to try it themselves.  They also discovered all the different uses of goat’s milk, how they can make cheeses and soaps.  We found that the wax from the bee’s honeycomb is used to make candles and lip balm.  Surely, this will lead to more fun projects for the girls.

Another fun trip was to an animal farm.  There the girls brought home sheep, goats, dogs, and yes llamas to add to the barn.  The barn also has rabbits, chickens, and kittens.  All of the residents at the farm have been enjoying the animals.  The girls love, nurture, and tend to the needs of the animals every day.  They performed a car wash in the local community to raise funds for the upkeep of the animals.  New ideas for fund raising are on their agenda, as well as joining the local Future Farmers of America.

Troubled parents have a reason to be troubled, today.  The entire culture has allied itself with the teen mentality.  It began with the baby boomers—a generation who never grew up.  This is largely because their depression-era parents didn’t want their little “Throckmortons” to have to go through what they went through—unfortunately, this included some of the tough character-building experiences.  But, what these depression-era parents had going for them was an entire culture that allied themselves with most of their parenting ideologies.  Kids knew it too.   Parents raising their kids, just ten or twenty years ago, had more of our American culture backing them up– but nothing compared to the parents of the baby boomers.  Certainly, in the 1950’s and 60’s parents had a built-in system of accountability by the watching eyes of neighbors, school teachers, extended family, the government, and the church.

Today, however, the cultural shift of “do what feels good” brought on by the baby-boomers, has come home to roost.  Today’s teens our ARE doing what feels good—and they are doing it at every turn with little or no restraints and little or no consequences.  In addition, neighbors, school teachers, extended family, the government, nor the church, are any longer helping troubled parents hold their troubled teens to a common standard of morally acceptable behavior.  Tragically, today, all of the entities above may actually be encouraging a troubled teen to follow his heart and engage in whatever feels good for the moment.  Remember, Hitler followed his heart!  Parents are actually fighting, not just their troubled teens, but the very entities that used to be staunch allies of parents who raised their teens according to a common moral standard.

But, in our ever increasingly pluralistic, postmodern, and politically correct society, a common moral standard no longer exists.  This is not only breeding chaos and anarchy in our culture; but, certainly in our homes.  Troubled teens are the result.  And since parents no longer feel they have the support of government, neighbors, schools, extended families, or even the church, troubled parents and families are another result.

Parents, it has never been more important to understand the times we live in.  Therefore, it has never been more important to equip your kids with the knowledge of Christian apologetics.  A website, cpyu.org, is just one of many good resources for books and DVD’s for this very purpose.  Understanding the Times by Summit Ministries is another.  Still another is the Truth Project by Focus on the Family.  Once your child sees the bigger picture, you won’t look so odd to your teenager anymore.  Today’s teens are as intelligent as any generation in history—and they are much more informed.  What they are failing to acquire is wisdom.  True wisdom, of course, comes from God and should be filtered through us.  If our kids exercised wisdom, they would do more positive and constructive things with the huge access to information they have through vehicles such as the internet.  But, as parents, we haven’t required much of our kids.   Believe it or not, if you start young enough, kids will do what’s required of them.  But, this is going to take a concerted effort on the part of today’s parents.  The only option is more troubled parents and more troubled teens.

Shepherd’s Hill Farm is also coming out with a DVD that will give troubled parents a head’s up on the issues that will help them navigate today’s culture with their troubled teens.  In addition, the outreach ministry of Shepherd’s Hill Farm, known as License To Parent, can be listened to at our website, www.license2parent.org.  It is a 30 minute radio broadcast that can be heard on AM660 on Thursdays at 12: 30 pm and Saturdays at 11:00 am out of Greenville, SC.  License To Parent is designed to offer insights and answer questions of troubled parents who are experiencing the fallout of today’s ever-increasingly godless American culture.

If you are looking for a Georgia troubled teen boarding school, Shepherd’s Hill Academy at Shepherd’s Hill Farm is staffed with men and women that the Old Testament would call the Sons of Issachar.  The sons of Issachar were men who understood the times and knew what to do.  There aren’t too many Georgia troubled teen boarding schools that really do understand the incredible impact today’s American culture is having on, not just our kids, but the church as well.  Troubled teens from all over the world have come to Shepherd’s Hill Academy at Shepherd’s Hill Farm to be healed for this very reason. 

When troubled teens understand that the staff at Shepherd’s Hill Farm live lives submitted to Christ both on and off the clock, a new respect and interest in the things of God are birthed.  They understand boundaries and the importance of boundaries.  Even more, they understand the importance of these boundaries being consistently enforced.  This brings a tremendous amount of security to a troubled teen—especially when they begin to trust and love the counseling staff as much as the staff loves them.  Any Georgia troubled teen boarding school that dispenses the love of God like the Staff at Shepherds Hill Academy at Shepherd’s Hill Farm should be recognized and supported by anyone in a position to do so.

But, perhaps the greatest benefit to life in the woods for troubled teens is the fact that it is a reprieve from the Sodom and Gomorrah world they’ve come from.  It is a time of innocent pleasures and a time to reflect on the really important issues of life such as origin, meaning, morality, and destiny.  Though Shepherd’s Hill Farm could be called a Christian counseling boarding school, it is actually more of a camp atmosphere where a Christian school resides.  Shepherd’s Hill Academy is a tremendous bonus that most Christian Wilderness programs do not offer troubled teens.  So, while a resident is working on his behavioral issues, he doesn’t have to sacrifice academics in the process.

Christian troubled teen schools are a dime a dozen.  But, what really makes a troubled teen school Christian?  The question is asked, because so many troubled teen schools have compromised biblical principles for secular theory and political correctness.  In some cases they have compromised for the sake of funds or enrollment.  There aren’t a lot of parents who are willing to be stretched by enrolling a troubled teen in a place that may actually stretch them! Consequently, the Troubled Teen School is willing to compromise biblical principles to appease a doting or politically correct parent who takes his or her parenting and theological cues from Oprah rather than Scripture.  But an institution devoted to Christ isn’t as concerned with political correctness, enrollment, litigation, or money, as it is honoring the Savior on a regular basis.  This isn’t always so easy in this postmodern and relativistic age we live in today; but, it is what makes a troubled teen school Christian.

But, if the good name of Christ is going to be adequately represented before troubled teens and parents who are genuinely open to what the Truth actually is, the politically incorrect mold must be broken.  Shepherd’s Hill Academy at Shepherd’s Hill Farm is committed, not necessarily to breaking molds, but to obeying, serving, and honoring Christ.   Another thing that makes a troubled teen school Christian is the fact they hold individuals, including their students and their parents, accountable for living out a biblical worldview.  This isn’t always comfortable either—especially when parents are investing huge sums of money to support their child’s stay in one of these troubled teen schools.  But, this doesn’t deter the staff at Shepherd’s Hill Farm.  The staff is committed to helping troubled teens and their families with the Truth of God’s Word, and let the chips fall where they may.  Parents, who are willing to occasionally hear a hard word and deal with it, are helping in the extremely rewarding process of seeing a troubled teen transform into a Child of the King.